Gratitude has become somewhat of a buzzword, and for good reason. Those who give thanks frequently report greater happiness, optimism, social connection, and belonging. Expressing gratitude also helps you sleep better, lowers blood pressure, and decreases aches and pains in the body.

The science is there. Gratitude is good for you! So why don’t we give thanks more often?

Turns out, the hesitation and discomfort you may feel is alllll between your two ears. Expressing gratitude is vulnerable, sometimes plain scary. But there’s hope! New research explains the barriers to giving thanks.

1. We routinely underestimate the positive impact of expressing gratitude.

As the “giver,” you may think that the “receiver” will feel less happy and more awkward than they actually feel. Internal biases tell you that the gratitude is “a small act” or “not a big deal.” The research shows, however, that the simple gesture can shift the receiver’s mood, make their day, strengthen your bond with them, and also make you feel good.

2. As the “givers” of gratitude, we can get caught up in getting your words just right.

You’ll likely want string the perfect combination of words together. Hyper-focusing on sounding competent can prevent you from giving thanks altogether.

Here’s the thing: the “receiver” of gratitude doesn’t focus on your words or delivery nearly as much. It’s true; the receiver is way more concerned with the warmth, joy, and love that comes from the exchange. In fact, the sheer act of expressing gratitude outweighs how it’s expressed or what specifically is expressed.

That’s good news! Research tells us that there’s no point in getting caught up in the details of expressing gratitude. What matters most is that you say what’s on your heart and mind.

My hope is that this inspires you to give thanks. I challenge you to shoot someone a text, leave a friendly voicemail, or write an over-due gratitude letter. I challenge you to lean into the resistance or vulnerability you feel. Do not underestimate the joy you can bring someone. Imagine the positive impact we would make in our circles if we all stepped into courage and gratitude.